GETTING THEM 36

 

GETTING THEM 36

THREE MONTHS LATER – HOPEFUL AND A NEW DAWN

I was lying on my bed thinking of how everything had changed in such a short space of time, I could not believe how everything had unfolded. It was surreal. We did not manage to find Lumbiwe yet but at least we had the biggest clue that got my heart almost settled. Lumbiwe had flown out of the country she initially arrived in and records showed she was now in Mexico. From the leads I got, Lumbiwe must have changed her identity and her life altogether but one thing I knew would never happen, Lumbiwe would never forget me. Whatever happened to my sister would not make her forget about me completely. I remember crying bitterly when evidence of Lumbiwe going to Mexico got to me, I wondered whether she was trafficked or if she was indeed safe. However, there was light at the end of the tunnel. Someone was willing to sacrifice to help me find my sister, as a matter of fact, I was going to Mexico with him.  

Thokozile was a blessing in my life and I must admit our meeting was pure destiny, I learnt a lot from her but I also got to discover how she got all this wealth. Thokozile was raised by a step aunty who let her fend for herself at the age of 12years. From begging in restaurants and almost losing her life to a narcissist boyfriend then eventually meeting a wonderful man she fell in love with though married at that time. The man gave her everything she could think of and at that point was ready to fight any battle for love. The same lady who helped Thokozile secure her place in the man’s life was now the reason I was able to afford the king size bed I lay on. I had suffered way too much to get to this point and I could do anything to secure my place in this man’s life, I did not get him to love me, he already did. I just had to get him to stay long enough to sponsor my life. Before him, I met another man who treated me exactly like Austin, the man managed to drain me out of every strength Austin had barely left in me and at this point I knew I needed Thokozile’s help. She had told me about my life changing forever but it was a choice I needed to make. Of course I wanted to do everything I could to keep away from that kind of life but life taught me way too many lesson and the very last being my opportunity to redeem myself from this self-inflicted pain. Lumbiwe was gone, I had no idea how long I had to wait for her return but now I had to start fighting. 

I went from caring how anyone would think of me to putting myself first and choosing to be selfish. Each day I remembered Thokozile’s passionate message to me when I finally decided to take her advice. 

“I am not forcing you to be like me or to want more form life but I will just tell you this, the world will not give you what you are not willing to take. The violent take it by force. You have the undivided opportunity to choose which path you wish to take, people will one day look at you and point fingers at you and what not but I want to know when dignity fed or when pride filled a stomach. You have the opportunity to turn your life around and not many get this chance, I am passing it on to you, I have nothing to lose to date. I have not killed a person or destroyed a marriage. Honey that is something you never want to do. Never ever do that because then you will be calling fire over your life, enjoy their money, make the most of the good times and when you are tired loosen the leash and let them go. You are not draining them dry they have plenty to throw around, take it you are one of the beneficiaries of their wealth. Just do not destroy a marriage.”

I remember looking at her and asking her why we need to use medicine though. Looking back at me as she sipped on her champagne… she said to me…

“They want to use you and get away with it, how many have done that to us? It’s a simple thing… accept the gifts and play them at their own game. You are only keeping them wrapped around your finger up until you are ready to toss team out, it’s what they would do to you anyway but this time you get to do it. It’s a two way street honey… Nobody owes you sweet dreams in this world, create your own”

I hope those words alone sum up the choice I made to never ever allow myself suffer another day in my life. I owed myself way too much love. It started from me.