TOO FAR TO REACH 51

 

TOO FAR TO REACH 51

The doctor held Jeff’s hand to comfort him, he was beaten down and crying. Miserably crying, Jeff looked the doctor in the eyes and asked if he could do anything.

“I can not assure anything Mr Kim… we will do our best but as for what you are going through maybe you need to see a therapist.. please listen to me this time.. please” he begged.

Doctor Patel was very understanding and not judgmental in this situation, he knew something could actually be done but he did not want to raise Jeff’s hopes high. It was sad seeing a good man in that position and not knowing what to say to him. Jeff was always a good dignified man, what was happening to him was really a case of bad happening to good people.

“Please listen to me Mr Kim… I know you want answers but I can not give you any right now. I can only ask you to go ahead and see a therapist.. it will help”

While Jeff wallowed in self pity and mourned his heart out, Pumulo met with Japhet at a resort a couple of kilometers from home. Pumulo had agreed to everything Japhet put on the table, he wanted Pumulo to abort and that was at her own cost but also, Japhet needed money to flee and start his life or Jeff would know everything. The money Japhet asked for was ridiculous but Pumulo felt hopeless. When he left her presence, Pumulo ensured that nobody looked familiar before she also left for her spa day.

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I put all things into consideration as I sat comfortably doing my pedicure, my life was a ticking time bomb. All these privileges would soon pass me by but was I willing to give up life within me? Was I willing to give it all up for love? I didn’t think I wanted to be a mother without Jeff, it was no longer about carrying my own baby. I realised my life felt meaningless without Jeff. However, something within me could not give me peace, I just couldn’t be that heartless and flash out my own blood. The walls of the luxurious saloon I came to every week made me feel horrible, I hated my life for the first time. I thought of all the misery I had been through back home and now light at the end of the tunnel but once again life laughed in my face.

Surely Pumulo, how horny could you have been? Couldn’t you have at least just been patient with Jeff?

All these thoughts frustrated me, I needed a break to put my mind together. I loved Jeff with all of my heart but when you are high on wine, sexually starved and a fine dark chocolate guy in your face all the time, you can’t help it. I lusted for Japhet so much that the first night we indulged was in my own house on the bathroom floor. Jeff was outside doing his work out with Hannah when I betrayed my own husband. Not once, not twice, it had become a habit. Now on this fateful day I remembered the words aunty told me, she made it clear that my life would come crushing if I did not use wisdom. It was now too late. My life was in shambles

After my pedicure, I headed to the chapel. There was a chapel not too far from home. I walked there and decided to see a pastor. I was open enough to confess everything and looking at me he saw my true intentions. He was filled with pity but asked me to seriously pray. Three weeks he gave me, total prayer. In the min time, pastor Misheck asked me to tell Japhet that I would no longer go ahead with what he wanted. I feared the worst but just like pastor Misheck had advised, I needed not worry but trust in what God could do. It was a call to repentance. Japhet had acted up with many threats but went through with none.

I believed something supernatural would happen, I prayed dedicatedly and Jeff even joined me in prayer mostly. Unknown to him, I was praying for the grace to face the situation I brought myself into. I got a call from Pastor Misheck just two weeks after we started praying together, Japhet was still sending threats. I responded to none.

Saturday morning I went to see Pastor Misheck, he spoke with me extensively, he told me I needed to tell Jeff.

“Pastor… pastor what are you telling me?” I said as I wept in his office

“My daughter… this situation is not easy but you need to tell your husband. You don’t have to do it alone… you can invite him to church. We have prayed, your conscious is clear, you are ready to live right but first he needs to know. Whatever course of action he takes from here we can only imagine. Nonetheless I serve… we serve a living God”

I couldn’t bring myself to accept this, I hoped with all I had done recently, maybe something would lighten this burden. Telling Jeff? For once I was fine with my husband without any guilt. Why now?

“My daughter you need to do it… it’s necessary”

I shook my head fighting every tear.

“You don’t have to do it alone.. my wife and I can be with you…”

“pastor.. maybe let me just go… like I said.. I can just ask for divorce and go to Zambia.. please pastor.. I can’t tell him.. let me leave a note and go to zambia.. please..”

“Pumulo.. Jeff is your wedded husband… you need to face him… if the end result will be going to Zambia then so be it… let us do things the right way… we have been trusting God. Let’s ho through with everything the right way.  We can’t claim to trust God and do the opposite”

I cried bitterly, this time I sat on pastor Mishecks floor. I had conducted my test earlier that day, I was indeed pregnant. How could I face husband and confess this truth?