TOO FAR TO REACH 52

 TOO FAR TO REACH 52

PUMULO’S POV

My bags were packed ready to leave, I had secured everything I needed to go with. Well, mostly my clothes and nothing more. I came with nothing, I had to leave with nothing. It had been three days, Jeff and I were so close that this felt like betrayal. The days before it came to this, Jeff had a strong desire to be intimate with me and I have in guiltily, he was my husband still. I had to do it until it was time to leave. It was almost as if Jeff knew I was going to leave, he had become so clingy and I must admit the intimacy was so good. The time had come for me to say good bye. Jeff was in our room laying on the bed and reading a magazine, the t.v was on but he not concentrating on it. I was clad in a white long sleeved cotton shirt, dark denim fitted skinnies and white canvas. I had a small suit case with me and my handbag. My travel documents were in my bag, I had processed everything the day before.

As I steadily walked up to Jeff, to my surprise, he was not shocked. He looked at me with my luggage and continued to read his magazine.

I pulled up a chair by the bedside and put my luggage next to me. Jeff looked at me this time steadily as if trying to read my mind, I was nervous. I crawled to the floor and got in my knees. Tears lingered in my eyes, Jeff looked like he already knew what I was about to say. His fade battling many emotions but acting strong, he sat upright and flipped the magazine throwing it to the other side of the bed. I was even more nervous.

“Jeff…” I started.

A lonely tear came down my left cheek and I quickly wiped it.

“You don’t deserve me… you have been nothing but good to me.. you have been my saving grace, my life has changed because of you honey. I ashamed of myself, I deserve everything you wish to do to me but I have come here to day I have asked God to forgive me and I am ready to go and start my life afresh. I pray you find it in your heart to forgive me… I promise you honey, I would have never intentionally hurt you… I don’t know what came over me”

Jeff cleared his throat, I was facing down avoiding eye contact with him. My face was a sea of tears, I was in pain. I knew what I did was truly unacceptable. I had to accept my fate and just go.

“Why die you do it Pumulo? Was I really never good enough? Honey.. it was a passing phase in our lives, I know I was crippled and I know you were tired but baby we could have discussed this… if you wanted to leave I would have understood”

I wept bitterly as I interrupted him

“No … never.. I could have never thought of leaving you honey. You were my joy, you were my everything… why would I even think of leaving you? It was just a moment of weakness honey and I entertained it.. I am so sorry… I will go.. I promise I will go…”

Jeff wept bitterly ad lamented about how he had known and his heart could not take it. He said a lot emotionally damage things that he had gone through and how at one point he even considered suicide. All this broke me more.

“Pumulo, I love you and I have always loved you… I hoped one day you would tell me this truth and at least assure me that I wasn’t crazy and there was hope for us. I still want this to work Pumulo but if you come here before me and tell me you are ready to go… Pumulo what are you saying to me? You want Japhet is that it?”

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Jeff stopped Pumulo as she tried to explain herself.

“You are selfish Pumulo.. at least come here and tell me you want to fight, not with pride… you come before me telling me you want to leave? Leave and go where? After everything??? Is this some kind of joke Pumulo? We are married!! You want to leave me like this?”

Unable to express herself amidst her wailing, Pumulo pulled out the pregnancy tests from her bag and handed them over to Jeff.

“And this? What is this?”

“Jeff… I am pregnant… this is the reason I can’t stay… I would be insulting our….”

“Get out!!! Get out!!!!” Jeff shouted hysterically…

“Honey ..”

“Get out of my life!!!... I curse the day I set my eyes on you”