TOO FAR TO REACH 1

 TOO FAR TO REACH

CHAPTER 1

The sky was a beautiful blue, everything seemed to be normal. It didn’t look like it was going to rain or like the weather would become gloomy anytime. You see, I would have rather had it raining and gloomy than so clear; for once I just wanted another reason to stay in bed. Unfortunately for me, it was no longer about myself but now I had to be concerned about the growing human in my womb. My God… I had a womb… me… Pumulo??? I had a womb and some little human found it fit to call it home… very strange. I do not know how many times I had tried to trap Niko with a pregnancy but it never worked, now I was finally pregnant for another man. Just how? .. Niko had a daughter with his ex and all I wanted was to at least give him one so maybe I could be secure, it never happened in two years. Then suddenly, one attempt with a guy I was not even dating… wow.. just wow…

I had not even brought myself to accept this situation and it was already time for my first antenatal visit, barely two weeks after I discovered that I was actually pregnant. I had made up my mind, I was not going to tell the father. Well, Jeff and I had never been exclusive, we were always drinking together on weekends but just never exclusive. From the little that I knew, Jeff was seeing someone and they were very serious. I think they were going to get married. To top everything off, Jeff was actually my workmate except we worked in two different departments. I was in sales and he was in administration, pretty much my boss. How we got to having a baby is just another issue I am not ready to get into yet.

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I rushed to the bathroom to vomit, it’s like the moment this baby was announced my whole life turned upside down. It is also funny how I was so unaware of its presence, now suddenly I had to dance to its tune at any given point. Now let’s talk about how this baby was expensive, had me craving for Asian cuisines like I was some wealthy baby mama or something. Heaven knows I was praying for its arrival so we could face the reality of my broke life together. One thing about this child was that I had accepted it from the moment I learnt of its existence. I was shocked but I accepted, I was throwing no tantrums or blame games, I was not regretting being pregnant… no… not at all. On the contrary, I felt so blessed to be a mummy. I had just turned 32 and was 5 months out of a terrible relationship, another terrible relationship. It had gotten to a point where I was just ready to be a mum and not so much worry about being a wife or any of those fairytales I had in my twenties, life had given me many reasons to believe this was never going to happen. I was still not over my last relationship hence I drunk like my world had come to an end. At some point I just wanted to die… I felt like a total failure. Even though I had given everything I could to make the relationship work, I still punished myself for its failure. I had only asked for the bare minimum and when I asked for an elevation in title from a mare side chick to something more decent….. I was dumped. I thought I had earned it and I needed to ask for it. Well, I was unremorsefully dumped and unceremoniously sent packing from what had earlier seemed like a new life. Earlier that month, I forced myself to move in with no plans of the future whatsoever. I moved in because I was trying to secure my place, he made no objections except certain things still remained uncertain. Things like what the future held, whether or not I was ever going to be wifey… needless to say, I had no idea.. I just thought I would fall among the statistics of those who were never married the right way but somehow just moved in and all would fall into place. Well, in what seemed like a fall of grace, I was alone five months later and three months pregnant. At least I was certain of one thing, the baby was not his. It was Jeff’s… my Asian workmate… well I think the Asian food cravings make sense now right?