TOO FAR TO REACH 10

 

TOO FAR TO REACH

CHAPTER 10

I knew I had to say the truth but there was just too much involved, Jeff was engaged and obviously my children would mean a whole different chapter. I will admit, I did not want to be co-parenting with a married man and yes he was not yet married at this point but he was going to be. A lot of women would have made a different decision in my shoes but even if Jeff called off his engagement on account of my pregnancy, I would not find the peace within me. All I just hoped for was for things to be different but clearly they weren’t. He deserved to know without a doubt but to what end? I was not emotionally capable of handling the outcome of all this… I was already dealing with my aunts death.

“Is it a secret?’ he asked as he continued resting in the same position.

I had barely opened my mouth when he spoke up again.

“I just thought we were friends and you could tell me anything… I am sorry if I am being inquisitive” he said.

“Friends… yes we are” I replied as I tried to hide the fact that I was disappointed by that statement.

“I did not know you were getting engaged, we are friends… are we not?” I said

Jeff posed for a moment and tried so hard not to show that I had just cornered him there but his face sold him out.

“The last time we were together, you mentioned that marriage was something you highly doubted would come your way and you had finally gotten to that point where that topic did not excite you anymore, even hearing of people getting married was awkward for you… I figured letting you in on such details would be a bother… I actually needed help with the ring choice” he said

“and you thought I would be the best person to assist you?”

Jeff chuckled before responding.. “I was certain you would care less”

"well you thought right” I replied before closing my eyes again.

I really wanted to hold the conversation further but a lot was on my mind, I thought of giving my aunt a befitting burial rather mourning period then I would deal with this later, thinking about it was actually making me feel exhausted and really sick. I wanted to be well and maybe I would handle this later, so I fell asleep instantly.

I woke up at 3am and my heart was racing and aching. I do not know what this was all about but it felt like grief… I was heartbroken all over again… losing aunt was not easy… I thought of her so much and it felt like she was just there. In my head I could hear the sound of her voice and when I closed my eyes I could literally see her. My heart couldn’t handle it anymore, I burst out in tears. I didn’t realize I had woken up Jeff until i felt him snuggle me in his arms and I cried on his shoulder. I cried so bitterly that no words of comfort seemed to do me any good… I was heartbroken.

“Pumulo, I will always be here for you… I know this pain is so unbearable and I can not even imagine what you are going through but I assure you that I am here and I will always be here… trust me… I will be here” he said

Jeff was holding me patiently waiting for me to calm down when his phone started ringing loudly. He didn’t seem like he wanted to let me go but I pulled away to allow him pick it up. The phone was quite loud and I heard my sister wife say…

“Honey I just had a nightmare…”

Jeff sighed and asked what it was about.

"well I dreamt something was trying to tear us part, I do not know what it is but something was seriously trying to tear us apart…”

"Mo.. listen to me… I am not in the mood for these games, I am at the hospital and I do not want to wake the patient” he said.

It seemed she hung up and he put his phone back in his pocket before looking at me sadly.

“I am so sorry… I know Mo is just a little jealous… can I make you anything?? Tea or coffee??” he asked

“Tea” I responded.

Jeff had just turned to switch on the electric kettle when he said…

“I know this will sound very stupid, I could have been here regardless but something has really made me stay here through the night… and I repeat… I could have been here regardless… I could have been here because I care so much about you…” he said before posing.

I had never seen him speak with so much emotion as he looked at me.

“Pumulo, I need to know… please… I know this may not be the right time but I just want to know so that I can quickly do things right…” he said.

I was confused…I looked at him in shock… I had no idea what he meant.

“It is not my thing but while I was in Cape Town, I allowed someone to speak to me… I do not believe in such things but this person claimed to be a prophet… I would have thought he is just a medium or something… I was thinking so much after everything … after my proposal… I decided to walk to the pool while Mo slept and….. look I know this is crazy… don’t think I am mad.. I am not… I am truly normal…”

Jeff was shivering as he spoke and I saw his emotions get the best of him.

“Jeff… was the prophet talking about my pregnancy?” I interrupted

Jeff paused and stared at me in shock.

“So it’s true?” he asked desperately

“That it is  yours? Is that your question?” I asked as tears went down my face.

“Pumulo just tell me… please… and I know I am crazy and that man is probably crazy but I am literally attached to even that foolish idea… I do not know but I know it was only once that we met like that and I know you think I am crazy…”

I burst into tears as he tried to speak in his desperate confused state.

"Jeff, i want a present father. A man who loves me and not just present because he ahs to... a man who will not take me on another ride... i have seen it all... i am content..."

Jeff grabbed my hand desperately, this time tears lingered in his eyes.

"Tell me i am not crazy... tell me ... i am desperate"

“THE PROPHET IS NOT CONFUSED AND NEITHER ARE YOU JEFF!!!… it is true…” I responded before burying my face in my hands and wept bitterly