GETTING THEM 15

GETTING THEM 15

A part of me wondered why I allowed myself to ask such a question when I was not ready to get the answer. The ball was now in my hands, he was clearly still with her and he was trying to pursue me at the same time. I felt a sense of grief inside, I really had serious attraction for him and I hoped he would be the one but with this… how could I handle it? Another part of me felt if he was pursuing me it’s because he obviously was contemplating leaving her. I however decided not to be that stupid and feed myself with such lies. I had to face reality and be okay with letting the truth sink in to me. I felt failed to pretend my facial expression clearly showed him I was not happy about what I heard.

“What issues are you having?” I asked

He looked at me and genuinely spelt it out.

“What college girls do, I hope you also don’t change. I should know better than beginning to fall for another lady going into college” he said.

I sighed heavily as I tried to look for what to say, I was speechless. Relationships like this are not easy, I had never been in one but I knew waiting on someone with the hope that you will be picked normally just ends in a disaster.

“Your face just suddenly looks off and I don’t like what I see, I am really hoping that’s not you signing me out. Relationships are bound to fail but we can’t judge people based on how their relationships go, just because it went that way doesn’t mean it might go even that way between us. Linda and I practically done, we have just never addressed it and the fact that she has been so quiet has left me in a place of not knowing what to say” he said 

“Then why have you never reached out yourself? What If she is still under the impression you are together? I do not want a situation where she just shows up along the way” I said

Looking at me directly in my face Austin responded… “I had no idea what I had to say to her… I think it’s not even necessary that I say anything my silence means a lot to her. I went to see her in school and found her with another man. Tell me what else I need to say? The situation is painful and its not something I like to address… she already knows my stance “

“I am sorry about that but have you healed?” I asked.

“I would not be entertaining you if I haven’t, I wouldn’t want to hurt you as you are very innocent” he said.

After that sober conversation I did not know which route I wanted to go and it felt everything needed time. Austin and I agreed that going to Samfya right now was too early in our relationship and I wanted to wait. He was fine with everything but instead suggested we see each other every day then or at least when he could see me. When he pulled over at my house, I decided to tell him about the ladies at the pool who wanted to be friends with me and wanted us to attend a braai together.