TOO FAR TO REACH 30

 

TOO FAR TO REACH 30

It seemed like everything disappeared before my eyes as I stared at the ceiling, my heart ached so much in a way I can not describe. I could not understand why this could be. Why would I go through so much pain? Why would this happen to me? I felt like life was literally mocking me. I had just come to what felt like a breather in my very difficult life. Why would something like this happen under God’s watch?. I could not understand why. I felt intense pain that I could not cry.

It had been two hours after my stomach was flashed out, sadly, there’s not much medical staff can say to you. At this point I needed  some words of comfort, anything to make me feel better. I was hurting… it was a pain that I would not wish on my worst enemy. Through all this, not once did I even imagine my life after this. I did not think of my marriage or what would happen, Jeff was unavailable, he was arranging a few things for me but his absence felt like the start of my misery. I would care less at this point, I just wanted my babies.

“Aunty I want to use the bathroom” I said as I turned to look at my aunty seated by my bedside.

Aunty was in deep thought, I could see it through her although she had tried so hard to be strong for me. This was not easy for anybody, I could imagine Jeff was avoiding to face me because there was no logical explanation as to why he would be so busy at this time. I know I was told he had things to arrange for me but he knew I needed him. I had my tummy flash without him, it had been a couple of hours since I last saw him.

Holding my hand, aunty helped me up and off the bed. I still felt intense pain but it had gotten lesser and it was suddenly manageable, I had been in pain for hours that this was really not the worst. We headed to my private bathroom in my hospital room. It was a comfortable room and quite luxurious but that was far from my mind.

“Should I wait?” Aunty asked.

“No I will be okay” I replied before closing the door.

I rushed to sit on the toilet seat, I really needed to pee. Sitting felt like I was going into labor, the pain was intense but I badly needed to ease myself. Deep inside I also felt that I was seconds away from bursting into tears.  A very loud voice in my head spoke “Fool, you really thought you had this figured out didn’t you?”

I crawled to the floor and broke in to a loud cry. This made no sense, it had to be a movie.